Boy, have I been slacking on this blog or what?! I have been meaning to write since I have had a lot on my mind that I've been wanting to vent about.
I have been struggling lately with controlling my anger. I don't know where my patience has gone. Jonah was on a 3 week nap strike. Amazingly, he did take a nap this weekend, but it was probably because he was sick with that tummy bug that everyone seems to be getting. It has been driving me crazy that he hasn't been napping. He is only 2, I feel that he way too little to be giving up naps altogether. I wouldn't mind it as much if he was good at being quite and just looking at books for a while, but he isn't. He just runs around, gets into things (like breaking the heater in their room...) or he cries or yells and wakes up Kate from her nap almost everyday. I have been trying to be more relaxed about the whole thing. The past few days I have actually just turned the baby monitor down so I can't even hear him. That way, I don't get frustrated with him. It's really not that big of a deal if he doesn't sleep, but for some reason, if I am listening to him while he's not sleeping, then it gets to me. Make sense? I didn't think so either.
I have also been struggling with Lily and her attitude. Our biggest struggle was getting her into her quiet time. She gave up naps a long time ago, even though I am convinced that she still needs them. Occasionally she will fall asleep and sleep for 2-3 hours! But every day when it's time for her to go lay down with her books, she throws a HUGE fit that wakes up the whole house. It's awful and that's usually when I lose control the most. So, I decided that we would try a sticker chart to see if that would help. She helped make it and we went out to the Dollar Store to pick out a bunch of things to put in her "treasure box". She would get a sticker to put on her chart if she went into quiet time without any problem. Once she gets 3 in a row, she gets to pick a prize out of her box. It has been helping a lot- she helped pick out all of the prizes, so she is excited to get her stickers and earn her prizes.
I am trying so hard to be more calm and relaxed with the kids, but sometimes I feel like nothing gets through to them. Mostly Lily. Jake and I have been praying for patience and help controlling our anger. Anger is a really scary emotion and it can really make you do things you would almost instantly regret. I don't want my kids to be afraid of me. I want them to respect me and listen to me, but not be afraid of me. I am too rigid sometimes but its hard for me to let go and ease up on things. I don't know why, but I need to work on that.
I am feeling discouraged about our house hunt and how little we can afford in this area. We still haven't heard back about the house we put an offer on, but interest rates have gone up since we put in our offer, so now it looks as though we might not even be able to afford our offer! How crazy is that? I know that I need to be patient and that the right house will come along. But I go in waves, sometimes I feel very impatient and discouraged, like right now, and other times I feel content to wait and am excited to see what God has in store for us. I know that I will look back on this time and say that I am glad we waited because in the end, it will all make sense.
Well, that does it for now. This post is long enough. It feels good to get these things out of my head and down on "paper".
The lights are flashing on the baby monitor, meaning Jonah is not sleeping and instead playing. I am not going to let it bother me....