I don't remember a time in my life where I have cried happy tears and sad tears at the same time.
Today was a big day for us.
Today, our baby boy became legally free for adoption.
When I got the call from the social worker, I cried. When she called a second time, I cried again.
At first they were only happy tears.
From our perspective, we have been waiting 357 days for this. We have loved this boy as our own from day one and each day we love him even more. He is a part of our family and we can't wait for him to be ours forever.
But then they became sad tears.
From their perspective, they are about to lose their son. Even though he has us, our boy has lost his mom and dad. Despite the good that comes from adoption, there is so much loss and heartache. No matter what happened to his mom and dad, whether they willing gave him up or tried their hardest to get him back, that family is losing their son, their grandson, their nephew, their brother. And he is losing them.
Yes, he is gaining a lot (and so are we!!), but there is no denying the loss that accompanies adoption.
So, today there were happy tears and there were sad tears.
But we are one step closer to adoption day.
What is next?
Birth mom has 30 days to appeal.
If she does, it bumps the adoption out a while, maybe a long while (think 2 years).
If she does not, he will be ours this fall.
30 days. This is our last major hurdle.
Part of me really can't believe it.
I am so thankful.
Even though this process is incredibly difficult, I am so thankful for that little boy and who he is and what he brings to our family. I'm thankful for a faithful God that has been with us every step of the way. I am thankful for the outpouring of love and support from all of you.
Stay tuned- 30 days is going to go by in the blink of an eye!
(and for those of you that saw my post on facebook, don't get too attached to his name- even though we like it, it will be changing soon :) )