wife to Jake, mommy to my 3 crazy munchkins, Lily (7), Jonah (5.5) and Kate (4). Taking this crazy blessed life one day at a time.



My last couple of posts were a bit on the negative side, so I thought it would be good to highlight some of the good that has been going on too. The good times, of course, are the most important to remember and think back on, as those are the times that often get us through the rough times.

Some good things that have happened in the past week or so:
- Mommy and Daddy got to go out on a date night which consisted of take out Chinese that we brought to the harbor to watch the sunset. Then we walked to the beach and across the sand and looked at the amazing clouds. It was pretty much an awesome date night.

- We have been swimming at the beach (different than the one mentioned above) almost everyday this past week. So fun.

- Jake took off of work from Friday through Tuesday, so we got to see Daddy for 5 straight days!

- We went to Drumlin Farm yesterday and we all had a great time. Best time we have had as a family in quite a while. Kids behaved themselves (amazing, right?!) but had lots of fun with all the animals.

- The new bedtime routine is working well (we are 2 night in) so we are hopeful that it will continue to work it's magic.

- Kate is now sleeping unswaddled! Hooray! Yes, it does take her a bit longer to fall asleep now, but it still feels like a great accomplishment!

- Best of all, Lily earned 10 stars on her chart, so she gets to pick something to do together as a family this weekend. She is so excited and proud of her 10 stars :)

- Mommy has been trying so hard to control my patience and to really focus of the positives, which has been helping.

- Mommy has also started a new book: " Raising Your Spirited Child", which feels like it was written for me. Hopefully this book will give me new confidence and hope for our future raising our spirited daughter.

Wow- look at that list! Let's keep it up!


Terrible Two's??

I don't think so!!! Try tremendously terrible THREE's!
I will admit, I am having a tough time parenting lately. Not my sweet, perfect, angelic little Kate, but my strong-willed, independent, stubborn, loud 3 1/2 year old, and my whiny, cry-baby, also loud, clumsy 2 year old. Oh my. This by far, is the hardest stage I have gone through in my almost 4 years of parenting. It makes the baby days seem like a piece of cake!
My 3 1/2 year old does not seem to understand the fact that she is a kid. A little kid even, at not even 4 years old. She thinks of herself as my equal, and lately, that is how she treats me and talks to me as well. Please tell me how to nip this in the bud immediately!! She tries to tell me what to do, as well as tell her siblings what to do. She tries to scold me and discipline her little brother. How do I get it through her little 3 year old head, that Mommy and Daddy are the boss and she does not get to act or talk in that manner. She has always been quite a handful for me to deal with, but lately, my patience is wearing thin before morning snack.
On top of this power struggle, is my 2 year old. He whines about everything. I am not exaggerating. He cries and whine all day long. It's not an attention thing. He gets plenty of attention from me during the day. In fact, he and his older sister take up so much of my attention, that poor sweet little Kate does not get an ounce of the attention she deserves during the day. How do I stop the whining?? Goodness, I just feel a bit out of control with these kids lately. I can hardly take them anywhere by myself. If Daddy is there too, it is more manageable. They actually listen to him. Most of the time. Guess that helps, huh?
This is definitely a venting post, which is good because that's why I starting this whole blogging deal to begin with. Anyone with some advice on how to handle these two that are driving me nuts almost daily, please help! I want to enjoy my kids and have a great summer with them.
I've heard that 4 is better. Let's pray it is.


Home Again, Home Again

We are home again. Whenever we go away, either with the kids or without, I always get super motivated to do all of the things I want to with the kids. This time, I am motivated to potty train Jonah, start my new summer schedule with the kids, go running every morning (okay, maybe every other morning), finally kick our bedtime struggles in the butt, and have Kate finally sleep in the kids room rather than the living room. whew! I know this sounds great and crazy at the same time, but I am the type of person that will get really excited about something, and talk about it and even do it for a while, but then, once my routine gets interrupted, or I forget about it for a little while, everything fizzles out. It drives my husband a little bit crazy. I have tons of great ideas, but I don't always do anything about them. BUT, this morning, our first morning back to the daily grind, I went running!! With all three kids! Lily rode her bike around the track while I ran with Jonah and Kate. So far, I have stuck with my schedule. Granted it is only 9:21am, but still. We got up, ate breakfast, got dressed, got everything ready to go out running/biking, actually went running/biking, came home, put Kate down for her nap, took my shower. Now the kids are finishing up the show I put on for them so that I can shower in peace, then it will be snack time and out for our daily morning escapades! Today I am thinking it will be the beach. Might be a bit ambitious, but its already quite hot out, and with 3 kids under 4, if I don't just get out and do it, I never will, and I will become a grumpy, fat, lazy mom who sits on the couch all day blogging about how unhappy I am while my kids destroy the living room. Because that really would be easier than sticking to my schedule and trying to get everyone out the door in once piece, fully clothed. But that would not be best for anyone. Plus the kids love the beach and we have lots of new sand toys to break in :)


Grateful Heart

So often I get caught up in what I don't have. Especially living in the wealthy area that is the North Shore of Massachusetts. My current obsessions are a house and a van. But tonight, as I was doing the dishes ( I am currently typing with pruney fingers), I was thinking about how blessed I am and how I really need to think about how much God has given me and how much He is looking after me. So here goes a list of the things I am thankful for: I am thankful for our living situation. No, it is not ideal, living, as a family of 5, in a 2 bedroom apartment with a very poor layout. But there are so many positives to living here, I can't even list them all. I am thankful for my in-laws. They are an amazing bunch and I am so lucky to be a part of their family. I am thankful for my awesome friends. They are always there for us and I have loved seeing their faces almost every Tuesday night for the past 5 years. I am thankful for Jacob and the wonderful husband he is. We have certainly had a rough 4 1/2 years of marriage, but I think it has made us a strong couple and I look forward to each day with him. I am thankful for my crazy kids. Even though they have the ability to make me crazy, they are beautiful wonderful kids that God has given to us, and I am trying to raise them to be good, happy, responsible people that love the Lord. I am thankful for Jake's job. As hard as it is sometimes to still be in the "Gordon Bubble", it is still a great community and we have had many blessings being involved here. There are so many things that God has given to us, but for some reason, they can be so easy to overlook so we only see the things He hasn't given to us.

Help me, God, to always be thankful for what you have provided. You will always take care of me and my family and our needs. Help me to keep my focus on the important things in life. Thank you for your continuous blessings.


It's up to Mommy

After observing my days with the kiddos, and lots of trial and error, I am finding that the biggest thing that affects our day and whether or not it will be a good day or a looooong tough day, is my attitude. I guess that seems like a no brainer, but you know, it's really true. And man, that puts a lot of pressure on mommy. When I am annoyed or in a grumpy mood, I am not the type that can just push it aside and look ahead at the good the day can bring. That person would be my husband. I, on the other hand, am the type that needs to sit in my grouchy mood and get over it in my own good time. Unfortunately, being a mommy of a 3, 2, and 6 month old, there is not usually moment where everyone is being the sweet little angels that I know deep down they are. Usually, someone is making mommy upset. And often, I have a hard time letting go of that. With that being said, those days are rough. Mommy is grouchy. Kids are grouchy and uncooperative. I hate days like that because I can only seem to focus on the bad rather than the good. So, I have been trying REALLY hard to improve my attitude and letting go of the grumpy mommy and trying to let things slide off more easily. Proudly, I can say that today, I was successful! We had a good day- Lily was listening much better and was more helpful to me around the house and with her siblings. Jonah's 10 minute tantrum about his truck didn't phase me one bit. When I keep a good attitude and don't let things get to me, the whole house is a much happier place. And I want it to be that way as often as possible. I don't want my kids to think back on their childhood and remember me as always being a negative grouch that says "no" to all of their requests. So that means that mommy is going to have to work really hard and make a conscious effort to change. These kids deserve the best, so for my kids and our sanity, I will change. I just have to. Here are some cute pics from our good day today :) See, happy kids! Hooray!


Birthdays and mixed emotions

Today is the boy's birthday. He turns 2 at 2:24pm. He is my sweet little cuddle bug. He is so different from his big sister in so many ways. He is very sensitive, likes being held, and loves to cuddle with his puppy and blanket. We often refer to him as Linus, as he drags his soft green silky blanket everywhere. He squeals with delight at the sight of his little sister and is constantly hugging her, kissing her, bringing her toys (some of which are not very baby friendly- but it's the thought that counts, right??), and even sharing his blanket with her. He is such a sweet little guy, but is rapidly entering the "terrible two's" stage. Which is sad for me. My sweet little guy is now throwing tantrums left and right, his favorite words are "NO" and "MINE!", and the hardest part is that he just doesn't know what he wants. He wants to take off his hat. I take it off. He screams because I took off his hat. I ask if he wants it back on, he says yes. So I put it back on. But, then he screams because it is on his head again. Oh my goodness. He does this with EVERYTHING! It is a extremely exhausting process. But I am so thankful for my little guy, who is stuck in the middle of two sisters, poor boy. His daddy grew up the same way, so at least they can relate.

Lately, birthdays and holidays hold mixed emotions for me. I love to celebrate and make a big deal of birthdays, but I am always reminded of what is missing. It is nearing 2 years since Jake and I cut ties from certain members of my family, for my own emotional health and for the kids. We do not talk or email. They send presents to the kids on their birthdays and holidays. I send them cards on their birthdays and Christmas. It is hard for me when the kids packages come in the mail and to see the cards they write to the kids. They have never met Jonah or Kate. I miss having their support- which is something I desperately need. I miss talking to them and telling them funny things the kids did. I hope and pray that someday, things might be different and our relationship might somehow be restored, not to what it once was, but to something better, a healthy relationship that will be based on love. Until then, I am constantly aware that our family is not the way it should be- my kids are missing important pieces of their lives. And that leaves me with a deep sadness that is always present. But no one is missing more than my family- they are missing out on so many great things and most of all, they are missing out on our three blessings, who are growing up so fast, and won't be little much longer.



I don't know how I am going to find the time to blog now that it's summer. Lily's preschool graduation is tomorrow. She still has another year of preschool, maybe two, but all the little preschoolers are involved in graduation in one way or another. I am sad that school is ending for the year. Do all parents feel sad when summer comes, or is it just me? I love my Lily, but boy, she is a handful. And of course, at school she is a little angel (most of the time), but at home it's another story. She is the spirited type- Very independent, very stubborn. When we found out our third was a girl, I thought, " A girl.... but the one we already have is so difficult!" Turns out baby number three could only be a better baby if she slept through the night and didn't need to nurse every 2 hours. But she's a little peanut (11 pounds at 6 months) so I forgive her. Other than that she is our little angel baby.
But anyway, now that Lily is done with school, my days will not be as laid back as they have been. Even though there are still 2 kids at home when my 3 1/2 year old is at school, it makes a big difference having one gone. The peanut naps for a good chunk of the morning giving me some good one on one time with the boy (who turns 2 tomorrow!). Just writing this little bit has taken at least a half an hour, with constant interruptions (escort Lily back into quiet time even though she's throwing a fit because she broke her headband but she still wants to wear it; change Kate's diaper; fix Jonah's truck; read Jonah and Kate 2 books; change Jonah's diaper; put Kate down for third nap of the day and so on.)
I hope I can find time to do this for myself. So often I need to vent, but don't have a ton of people I can unload on. So I guess this blog will have to bear the brunt of it. At least it will help me, if only I can find the time.

New blog

I decided to start a new blog. Not one devoted soley to my kids, like my other blog, but one for me. I think that with all that goes on in my life and my head, I should have started one years ago. So I guess now I have to catch up. But I think this blog will help me get some of my crazy out, and hopefully, help me be a better mommy, wife and person. We'll see how it goes...