What is my biggest weakness as a person and a parent?
Managing my anger and frustration. It is hard. Really really hard. I have always had trouble controlling my anger. When I was a kid, I got in trouble a lot because I would take my anger out on my toys, or slamming doors, or by yelling. Not good. Especially since I now have 3 kids that daily test my patience. I kind of surprised myself when Lily was born. I thought that I was handling things pretty well, for being only 21 and knew, well, not much about babies. Then, when Lily was around 18 months old, that's when it started getting hard. That's when the tantrums, the screaming, the talking back and the attitude started. And that's when I started becoming aware of my weakness. Now, I not only have Lily to deal with, but Jonah and Kate as well. Therefore, I have less patience per child to dish out each day. I will admit that I have acted in ways that I am not proud of, and I think if I saw myself on a video, it would scare the crap out of me. I hate seeing Jake when he gets really frustrated with the kids, so I can imagine that it's pretty horrible when I lose it as well. I have been working so hard on controlling myself, but there are still times when I yell or give out a punishment that was probably a little harsh. That's one reason I started this blog. Not to gain followers, but to vent, to just get it out of my system. I don't want to take it out on the kids- they don't deserve that. But I think I need a few more outlets.
What are things you do to let out your frustrations?