This past week we officially became approved to be a pre-adoptive home.
These are some of my thoughts on our adoption process pre-placement:
Our adoption journey officially started a little over 2 years ago after we found a 2 year old boy wandering alone in a crowded parking lot (read about that here). It was then that we felt a big push from God to get things rolling, so we sent away for the paperwork to get started.
The paperwork came. And it sat. and sat. and sat.
We were nervous. Scared. Really scared. And life got in the way.
That paperwork sat for a year in a bright blue folder, tucked away with our weekly grocery ads and take out menus.
Finally one day, that paperwork was finished and we waited for the next step.
The first time we met with a social worker, I was so nervous. The house had never looked so clean.
We were still slightly terrified, but there was also a little bit of excitment starting to brew.
Months after that first meeting with a worker, we nervously drove to our first training class.
After 6 long heartbreaking classes, somehow, the excitement was continuing to build.
All this time, we had been praying. Praying for God to open doors or close doors. Praying for clarity, for patience, for wisdom. Praying for God to show us, tell us, reveal to us whether or not we should continue to pursue this.
A few months after the classes ended, and we finished another massive mound of paperwork, our homestudy began. Again, I was way more nervous than I needed to be. But all went well.
After another few months, we got to read that completed homestudy and this past week were approved.
As difficult as this entire process is, as heartbreaking as it is, as terrifying as it is, somehow our excitement has only grown.
God has shown us through the past 2 years that this is the path we are to take.
We know that the hardest is yet to come. We know that since we are adopting through foster care, that we could have these kids for weeks, months, maybe even years and that there is a chance that they may not end up with us forever.
We know that since we are adopting through foster care that it could be years before these kids officially have our last name.
We know that it won't be easy.
But it will be worth it.
And now? Now we are on the verge of meeting some very special children. Children that He already knew would be a part of our family since the beginning of time.
Every day I wake up wondering if it will be the day we get that phone call or that email. Every Day.
It could be Monday or it could be months down the road.
We are so excited to meet them. Learn about them. Get to know them. Love them.
We are also terrified.
But God has changed our hearts so much over the past 2 years and now, what I picture when I picture adopting?
Right now, I picture these little kids, standing in our doorway for the first time, Jake and I bending down to welcome them to their new home. I picture Lily, Jonah and Kate jumping up and down and squealing with excitement, hugging everyone and wanting to take their new siblings to show them their rooms. I picture Jake and I crying as we look at our new family.
I know we will be so scared. But the love and excitement we feel for these kids we haven't even met is so much greater than the fear.