We have never allowed guns in our house. We don't talk about guns. We don't pretend play with guns.
Or any weapons, really.
We don't have video games. My kids don't play games on the computer/ipad/ipod (aside from school stuff).
But once Jonah started kindergarten, he was ALL about guns and violence. All the time.
(NOT actual pretend guns, but he uses his fingers as a gun)
I'm not going to lie. It freaked me out. I hated seeing my sweet little guy pretending to shoot things and act so violent.
Jake and I fought it. We were constantly telling him NO guns, NO violence.
But it wasn't working. It helped a little, but it was still happening all the time.
Finally I realized that I was going about the situation all wrong.
All wrong, I tell you!
I realized that I had to really sit down and talk with him about guns.
I needed to teach him the history of guns and why they came about in the first place.
I needed to tell him the correct uses for guns.
I needed to tell him when it was okay to use guns and when it wasn't okay.
I needed to let go of my fear that all of this pretend gun play would somehow turn my little boy into a dangerous adult.
I needed to realize that guns do serve a purpose in this world, and it's not all bad.
So, I talked with him.
Instead of telling him no, I told him yes.
Instead of banning guns all together because it scared me or because I was afraid of my boy turning into a violent person, I taught him the correct way to use them and will allow him to use them for pretend play as long as he uses them correctly.
And since we have talked about guns, we actually have not had any issues!
I still do not like pretend gun play, because I really just hate guns. But if he wants to pretend to go hunting and shoots a deer, then that's okay. If he wants to pretend he is a police officer and shoots an imaginary robber, then that's okay. Those are real uses for guns. But his pretend gun play will not go much beyond that.
So far, finding a way to say yes, has given Jonah a bit of freedom to do something that he wants to do, but in the right way. And it has helped more than I thought it would.
|catching snow flakes on your tongue is serious business!|