wife to Jake, mommy to my 3 crazy munchkins, Lily (7), Jonah (5.5) and Kate (4). Taking this crazy blessed life one day at a time.

12.18.2012

Talking.

After Friday's horrific events, I wrestled with whether or not I should talk to my oldest daughter about what happened. 

She is 6. 

My baby is 6. The same age as most of those sweet little ones in Newtown. 

At first, I didn't want to say anything. I wanted to protect her and her sweet innocent heart. No child should have to fear such things. Not just yet. I know that each day, as she grows older, she will become aware of the evil that exists in our world. I wish I could hide that from her forever. 

Sadly, I can not do that. Even though she is just 6, she is very much influenced by the outside world now that she is in full time public school. As I thought about whether or not I should say anything to her, friends reminded me that even if I don't tell her, there is a good chance that she would find out from someone at school. 

After talking it over with Jake, we decided that I would talk to her. 

Honestly, I was nervous going into my bedroom, interrupting her quiet time, to talk. 

I started out a little shaky. Almost mumbling, saying that something very sad had happened the previous day. She asked me what happened. I told her that a lot of kids and some grown ups died. 

She asked me how. 

I said that someone that had a lot of evil inside of them hurt them. 

I was slowly becoming more confident. 

She asked, " how did he kill them?" 

She crawled into my lap.

I said,"with a gun." 

She asked me where. 

I said that it happened at a school. 

I reassured her that her school is safe. I asked her if she had any questions. She had just a few. I told her that if she had any other questions, she can come to me or her dad. 

I told her that I wanted to tell her about it so that she would hear about it from me and not from someone at school. But I told her the main reason why I wanted to tell her was so that she could pray. Pray for all of the families that are hurting so much right now. 

Later, she came to me and asked,"mommy, were they scared?" I told her that I thought they probably were.

She hasn't asked any questions since then. She did choose to wear green and white to school on Monday.

Our talk was very simple and I stuck to only the very basics. I kept it open so she could talk freely and ask questions. When our little talk was over, she wasn't scared, but more thoughtful.

I don't think our conversation could have gone any better. She knows only that some kids and teachers died because someone shot them in a school. That's it. No other details. I felt that was just enough. She has seen nothing on the news or radio. I feel like that would be too much for her young heart to handle and too much for her young eyes to see.

We chose not to say anything to Jonah and Kate, however. I feel that they are too young.


My heart is broken for those families in Newtown. I am trying not to let the fear take over. It is so easy to picture that happening at Lily's school. Or Jonah's school. It's hard not to be afraid.

What is this world coming to?

Come, Lord Jesus, Come. 

new Lauren



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