wife to Jake, mommy to my 3 crazy munchkins, Lily (7), Jonah (5.5) and Kate (4). Taking this crazy blessed life one day at a time.

11.01.2010

Struggles

 Right now, I am struggling with my 4 year old. She has always been quite a handful. She is a "spirited" child. Currently, my struggles with her include:
 - attitude
      - not listening
  - tantrums

We had a brief stage about a month ago, where she was awesome. Her behavior was amazing. No joke. It was the best she has ever been. Sadly, that only lasted about 3-4 weeks.

Most of the time, I just don't know what to do with her. I have been working on being more patient with her. I have also been trying to really praise her when she does something well.  We are also doing a 1-2-3 punishment/star chart. Basically, she gets 3 strikes. When she gets a 3, we write a 3 on the white board. Then, the next time she asks me if she can do something (color, ride bikes, arts and craft, watch a show...), then we look at the board. If there is a 3, she doesn't get to do it. But, she does get stars each time she does something well (listens the first time, cleans up well, helps siblings, goes to bed without a fight...) and when she accumulates 10 stars, she gets to pick something to do together as a family. That has been a big hit with her. Usually she picks to go to the bakery or go out to dinner. It has been really fun to celebrate her good behavior.

But lately, this morning for example, we have still been having a tough time getting through to her. It is very discouraging. 

I'm sure many of you have had similar experiences- what has worked for you? Or what hasn't worked? Is there something I am doing wrong?

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4 comments:

AmyLee said...

yikes, i don't have any words of advice for ya but just wanted to say good luck & a little patience probably goes a LONG way. i have a friend that swears by the rule of telling her kids 5 positive things to every 1 negative thing she says. good luck mama!

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