Some Answers

Well, again this has been one crazy week.

Last Monday, Kate started one of her weird vomiting phases, that she has had a few times before. Basically, she wakes up, throws up (before eating anything), has a bad headache and a few other symptoms, and then is fine for the rest of the day. This goes on for 4 mornings in a row.

For some reason, the other times this happened, I thought it was strange, but just kind of thought it was a weird virus or something. Well, when it happened this time, I mentioned it to a few people, and they really suggested getting her seen by a doctor. So, I took her in on Wednesday. They were pretty concerned and said that we should really see a neurologist at Children's Hospital in Boston.

So, I tried to make an appointment, but they wouldn't be able to see Kate for a few months. I called our primary care doctor back, just to check with them to see if it was okay for Kate to wait that long. They said that she needs to get in, so they were going to call urgent care and get her an appointment. Later that day I got a call from Children's saying that they could see Kate on Monday. Whoa! That was fast!

Well, basically from Wednesday to Monday, my mind had a lot of time to run wild with things that could be wrong with Kate. I was pretty nervous about what they would say, or find, at Children's. I kept thinking that it was going to be a tumor. The thought of Kate having a tumor made me so sick to my stomach. Even the thought of her lying on the MRI table made me so sad.

Well, today was the day. We had our appointment at 2 in Boston. Kate was awesome during the appointment! She happily did everything the doctor asked her to do and was such a happy little girl :)

They told us that it seems like she has Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. It seems to fit her symptoms pretty well. They do want to give her a metabolic blood test when she goes in for her 2 year well child visit, when she has to get her bloodwork done anyway.

If any of her symptoms get worse however, it could be something more serious. So, for now, we just watch her and see how she does. We did get a perscription for her, to hopefully help with the vomiting. Kate has a follow up appointment at Children's in March.

So, for now we have some answers, nothing concrete, but something. Thank you to all that were praying for Kate! Keep praying that none of her symptoms get worse and that her blood test comes back negative.

Writing about change...again....

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. Feeling behind. Feeling like things are never quite lined up just how they should be, so that everything is just a little bit off. Feeling like a good mom, but not a great mom. Feeling lazy. Feeling annoyed at how hard it is for me to change, and how hard it is to break habits and ways of life that you have been doing forever.

I know I have written about change before (did I mention how hard it is for me to change and how easy it is to quickly get back into old routines, even if you don't want to?), but here I am writing about it again. I always seem to get really excited about something, then go at strong for a while, then slowly, it fades away. Then a while later, I remember, "oh yeah, I was working on that. Why did I stop?" I have lots of great intentions and ideas, but for some reason can never quite follow through with them. Why is that? Why is it always to easy to give advice, but then really hard to follow that same advice? Why is it easy to see other people's problems, and see a clear solution, but so hard to do the same in your own life?

I see my flaws, my problems, sometimes pretty clearly, other times, not so clearly. I can see the result that I want, but I just don't always know how to get myself there. And now, the pressure is on. I have kids now. 3 little people that look up to me and watch my every move. And honestly, I do not always set a very good example. And I can see the results of that in Lily's behavior. The kids are still young enough, that if I can really stick to this, things can turn around without much harm done. If they were much older, then it would be another story.

So, the time is now. Jake and I are working together to brainstorm ideas of realistic ways we can improve as parents and to really enjoy our kids, before it's too late. They are growing up WAY too fast, and if we blink again, it will be over.

Please pray for us, as we make these changes, that we will be patient, and most of all that these will be permanent changes, and that I won't be repeating this post in a few months because we lost track of it. 

Crazy? It's not such a bad thing.

Life has been a bit crazy lately.

Schedules, work, academy, kids (especially a certain 5 year old...), everything has been crazy.

When people walk into my house, there are usually toys spread all throughout the house. There are crumbs on the floor, since it seems that sweeping 3+ times per day just doesn't cut it. There are dirty dishes in the sink and kids running around like little crazy people, who are usually missing at least one article of clothing. For some reason, my kids seem to go especially insane when we have friends/guests over. They just can't seem to contain their excitement one second, and therefore unleash these intense feelings on our poor innocent friends. And many times, I feel that people see this "crazy" as a bad thing.

The kids do have an amazing amount of energy and I am always struggling to keep up with them. They are not the type of kids that always have clean clothes or nicely brushed hair. Lily's hair has a mind of it's own. 2 minutes after I brush it and do something nice with it, like braids or a cute ponytail, it looks awful. They are not the type of kids to play quietly. They are loud. All the time. They constantly have dirt smeared across their faces and many multi-colored spots and stains on their clothes.

Up until a few days ago, I tried to fight this never ending battle. I was trying to make them be a certain type of kid. I guess the type of kid I pictured in my head. I see kids in the library or doctors office that sit nicely and quietly, reading a book or talking quietly and wishing that my kids were like that. I see kids that are perfectly dressed and keep their adorable clothes clean and their hair looking perfect. I wanted my kids to be like that- clean clothes, nice hair, a good sense of style (something I lack...).

For some reason, it has taken me 5 years to figure out that my kids just aren't like that. I don't need to try to change them. I guess I thought that it was something I should teach them, like their ABC's or 123's. But that isn't something I can teach them. It's who they are. They are loud, crazy, dirty kids. But you know what? They sure know how to have fun. They have amazing imaginations and are very artistic and Lily is extremely athletic. They know how to play really well together (but of course, like all siblings, sometimes fight like there is no tomorrow). They are great at sharing. And best of all, they are best friends. One of my favorite things is to see them playing together.

So, I have been trying not jump on them for getting dirty, or being loud (to a certain degree...) or running around the house in their underwear, or any of the other crazy things they do. I want to embrace them for who they are, not try to change them. They are the kids God created them to be, and I want to let them be kids. Let them explore, create, imagine and dream. They honestly are amazing kids, and I could not love them more than I already do.

Even if they are a bit crazy :)

Note: This does not mean that the rules go out the window! Rules still apply, I guess it's just me relaxing on the little things that, when I really think about, don't matter much to me, but matter so much to them :)

Just let them play

Since we are about to make a playroom in the basement, I have been thinking about the kids and their toys.

When we were packing up at our old house to move to our new house, I decided to get rid of all of the kids' electronic toys. I have been very happy with that decision.

Sometimes I think, "oh, it would be fun for the kids to have that electronic toy (like a leapster or something like that), maybe it could help with their writing, reading....". But I am glad that we don't have any those toys.

I want my kids to learn how to entertain themselves, not have something entertain them. I don't want them to be limited by a toy, I want them to find endless ways of playing with a toy, using and stretching their imagination. I want them to learn how to read and write from me or Jake or a teacher at school, not a little electronic device. When we are out at the store, or at an appointment, yes, it would make it so much easier to have a toy like that, or give them my ipod to play with, but I want them to learn how to act and behave in situations like that. I want them to figure out ways of entertaining themselves, with books or games they make up, or something like that. Yes, that makes outing difficult at times, but they are learning.

Yes, the kids do watch TV and we did get a portable DVD player for the car for long car trips, but that's about it.

My kids don't have their own ipod, they don't play on my computer or with my ipod, they don't play video games or the wii.

Of course this will change over time, as they get older. But for now, they are still very young, and they have lots of fun with books, blocks, trains/car/trucks, dolls, tools, arts and crafts and playing outside.

So, if you would like to get them an electronic toy, please check with me first.

(I know one thing that Lily really wants is a digital camera (like this one), and that would be a good thing for her to have, since she loves taking pictures.)

Sibling love.... not.

Alright. I am in need of some advice, some lovin', some support.

I am an only child. I know that siblings fight. But to what degree is the fighting "okay"? I don't know what the normal dynamic is between siblings, so sometimes I feel like I am going through this blindfolded.

I feel like the fighting, name calling, and general mean-ness is at an all time high between the kids, mainly between Lily and Jonah. And I will be honest. If you take Lily out of the equation, the problem virtually disappears.

It feels like she is constantly bringing Jonah and Kate down. She can be so mean to them, mostly to Jonah. The way she talks to him, the way she fights with him, the way she physically hurts him, the way she knowingly gets him into trouble has me so incredibly discouraged. I want our house to be a positive place, where the kids feel encouraged and feel 200% loved. I want it to be a place where they know that everyone there believes in them and their abilities and dreams.

I know they are still little kids, but I can see her squashing Jonah's thoughts and ideas and I see how crushed he is, and I hate seeing that. It breaks my heart.

I can see a difference in Jonah and Kate when Lily isn't around compared to when she is around. Now, I am not saying Lily is like this all the time. There are lots of times each day when the kids get along great and they are happy and playing nicely together. But many times, more lately, it goes downhill fast and Jonah is usually crying because of something Lily said or did to him.

I don't know what to do. Is this behavior normal? I know that it is normal to a point, but I feel like there are issues here that need to be addressed. I have tried talking to her many many times, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other. I have been really stressing "Treat others how you want to be treated" and I have been trying to catch her right when she is doing something hurtful so that she can see right then how Jonah is feeling and reacting to her, and then talking to her about it.

Any advice about siblings?

Each day I am completely worn out at the end of the day (okay, maybe even by the end of the morning...).

I think school has been really good for her, and Jonah too, but I think that since she is focusing so much at school, that she comes home and just lets it all out. And Jonah is an easy target. Such a sensitive little guy.

Is there anything else I can try, other than just talking to her, to try to get it in her head how hurt she is?



Random updates

Well, Jake is at academy again tonight. He also has academy for the next 3 Saturdays. Boooo. But he didn't have it last Saturday, so we had a great family day (see previous posts)!

Jake in his brand new gear! His jacket says "Kreyling" on the back!

 We have been extra busy lately now that school has started up. Lily and Jonah have both been loving school so far (and so has mommy!) and this morning I got to spend 2 hours with just my littlest munchkin! It was so good to spend some time with Kate with no other siblings around. She is such a funny, smart and sweet little girl!

Jake has been struggling at work lately. I am not going to go into it much or give any specifics, but please say a prayer for him and his work situation.

Yesterday church started back up in full swing and I finally got my act together and sent Lily and Jonah to Sunday School, which they loved. It was great to be back at church, with the rest of the church body and full choir. The sermon was great too- it was on forgiveness. It brought up some questions that I had about forgiveness and punishment. But Jake and I had a nice talk about it all. Now that school and church are starting back up, I feel more on top of things. We have a schedule, school, activities and church and I feel accomplished getting through the week and making it to everything in our schedule. I feel really good about finally sending Lily and Jonah to Sunday School and finally getting to church every week. Summer months can be so crazy and hectic and we are so off schedule. It is so nice to be back on a schedule.

Now that school has started up again, I am finally getting back into running. I had a great running schedule early in the summer, but once Jake started academy, that all went out the window. But now that the kids are in school in the mornings (Lily M/T/Th/F, Jonah M/W/F), I have time to go running while they are gone. So far I am 2 for 2. Hooray! Hopefully I can keep it up. I still want to get that BOB stroller, since we don't really need the double seat on our Phil and Ted's much anymore. The BOB's are awesome jogging strollers, so solid and sturdy. My birthday is coming up... hint, hint... I've been looking on craigslist for one, and I might snatch one up if I can find a good deal.

Here is a cute picture of my munchkins playing dress up. They are really into being firefighters these days. I wonder why...

Such a cute picture of Lily and Jonah. Don't know why Kate looks so unhappy...

Afternoon at the Orchard

Saturday afternoon we went to the orchard! We had a great time and we were all really happy that we were together as a family-Jake didn't have academy!! 

Finally a good pumpkin picture!

She was serious about her cider donut!

She was so proud of herself for climbing up on that rock :)

LOVE that face, LOVE that smile!

Lily took this picture!

Sisters :)