wife to Jake, mommy to my 3 crazy munchkins, Lily (7), Jonah (5.5) and Kate (4). Taking this crazy blessed life one day at a time.

3.05.2014

Tonight, I lost it.


Tonight, I lost it.

All patience and reason went flying out the window.

I yelled at my kids. Screamed a bit. 

Then cried. 

It was a combination of little things building all day and was set off by a less than perfect bedtime. Far from perfect. 

Whenever Daddy isn't home to join in our bedtime routine, the kids seem to think rules don't apply. 

I guess tonight was one Daddy-less bedtime too many because I couldn't take it another moment. 

And instead of doing whatever I could to calm myself down, I gave in to that fury and let it out. I guess it feels good to get it out for about 1.5 seconds, and then it's just pure misery for all involved. 

I felt awful. The kids felt awful. 

This used to happen often, when they were much smaller. Well, I wouldn't say "often", but more than it does now. Thankfully, now, I have much more control of myself and my emotions. 

But every once in a while I blow it. Like tonight. 

I was upset and felt so guilty. 

But then, I went into each kids bed, snuggled up to them, and apologized. 

"Lily, I'm sorry I yelled at you. I shouldn't have done that. I was feeling very upset and sad and my bucket was empty. That's why I yelled. But I should not have yelled at you or Jonah or Kate. I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?" 

They all said "Yes Mommy, I love you. I'm sorry too." Well, all except for Kate, who was already asleep, but I am sure that's what she would have said too. 

I love how quickly kids forgive. They don't even think twice about forgiving you when you make a mistake. 

I am so thankful for that. 

And I am thankful that tomorrow is a new day.

 Despite a lousy bedtime, my kids went to sleep hearing me say "I love you" and I am still singing His song when the evening comes. 

      10,000 REASONS (BLESS THE LORD) -Matt redman


The sun comes up; it's a new day dawning

It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes



Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I worship Your holy name


You're rich in love and You're slow to anger

Your name is great and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness, I will keep on singing
10,000 reasons for my heart to find



Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I worship Your holy name



And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
10,000 years and then forever more



Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I worship Your holy name