wife to Jake, mommy to my 3 crazy munchkins, Lily (7), Jonah (5.5) and Kate (4). Taking this crazy blessed life one day at a time.

4.24.2013

Love: A message to my munchkins.

To my sweet little loves,

 Since the three of you came into my life, I have been much more aware of danger. Of evil. And since you three came into my life, I worry. 

I worry about your futures. Not about the decisions that you will make. But more about the decisions others will make that will impact you. 

There is evil in this world. And it is horrifying to experience. 

But, there is also lots of good. Lots of love. 

That's what you need to focus on, guys. LOVE. 

I feel like that is the biggest thing God is showing me, teaching me right now. 

For the past 6 1/2 years, I have worried about being a good parent. I want to be the best mommy to you guys and I worried that I wasn't teaching you everything you needed to know to help you guys grow up to be good people. I would search my brain and come up with all these things that I felt I had to teach you. It was overwhelming and that job scared me. It felt like it was too much for me to handle. 

But you know what? God has been showing me that it isn't overwhelming. It isn't too much.

There is one answer. 

LOVE.

It all comes down to love. 

Really. That's it. 

Do everything out of love. 

Yes, there is evil in this world, but there is also love, and kindness and goodness. 

Guys, I always want you to show love. 

Show love to your friends. Show love to the kid that makes fun of you. Show love to our elderly neighbors. Show love to the lady at the grocery store, to the mailman, to the man walking his dog. Show love to the little kids that just want to play with you, to the person bagging our groceries, to the woman that serves you lunch at school. 

You never know who it's going to change. You never know how your love is going to impact someone else. 

Your actions will always affect others, and love will make the greatest impact of all.

It will not always be easy, though. Sometimes it will be so hard. Sometimes it will be embarrassing.

But it will be worth it. 

You may not be able to tell right away, you may not be able to see it, but it will be worth it. 

Radiate the love of God to everyone you meet. 

Love is different to everyone. To someone it might be a hug (you three are already great at that one), to others it might be a note, to some it might be a smile, or a thank you, or some small thoughtful gift. To others will be something completely different.

By showing love, you will also be kind, forgiving, humble, thoughtful, thankful, generous, and selfless- all things that God calls us to be. It all stems from LOVE. 

Lily, Jonah and Kate, the three of you are so special. You are already so loving to everyone. Don't lose that. Pray for God to fill your heart with even more love. I'm already doing that. 

You guys will change lives. And your love will bring others to God. And your love will make this world a better place.

And we ALL need this world to be a better place. 

Love is the answer guys. 

All you need is love. 

I didn't know it was possible, but my love for you three grows more and more every single day.

I am so proud of you guys and I can't wait to see the impact you are going to make in this world and the lives you are going to change. 

I love you. 

Love,
Mommy






4.05.2013

Doors.

Well, after thinking and praying and researching, I am still not sure if homeschooling is the best fit for us. 

I feel like we have a lot up in the air right now. 

Jake's career: There are a few options here and we are waiting for doors to be opened or closed. The first door will be opened or closed tomorrow.

Adoption: This is still very much on our hearts and minds. We are waiting until we get a little clarity about Jake's job before we move forward, but we are very excited about it!

Homeschooling: We are looking into this option and seeing if it would be the best fit for our family. It slightly depends on the path Jake's job goes as well, because of income and his schedule possibly changing. (If it changed, he would be able to help with the schooling too, which is something he is very excited about)

There are lots of pros but also many cons to homeschooling, plus the fact that I am feeling a tad overwhelmed by the whole choosing a curriculum thing. 

But, the door is not closed. 

So, we shall see. I guess we are waiting on career decisions right now, before we can really move forward with adoption and homeschooling decisions. 

Please pray for clarity and for doors to be opened very wide or closed very tightly. 



4.01.2013

A voice.

Last week was not an easy week for me. 

In fact, it was one of the hardest I've had in a long while. 

To anyone that I hurt or offended in my last post, I am sorry. That was never my intention. 

That post caused some reactions that I had never expected. 

Those reactions caused some emotions and feelings that I have not felt in a very long time. And it was really hard for me to feel like that again. 

But, along with those feelings came the strong urge for me to stand up for myself. Something that I have not done enough of in my life.

Usually I just give in, tail between my legs, thinking the way everyone else feels is right, and my feelings must be wrong. I usually don't give myself enough credit and I never had the courage to really stand up for myself.  

I hate confrontation. I will do just about anything to avoid it. Which really isn't always very healthy. I say "yes" more than I should and end up doing things I don't always want to do, just because I don't want to cause any trouble. 

But, little by little I am finding my voice and slowly realizing that it's okay for me to speak up and say "no" sometimes. 

I have to say that this situation has shown me how much I have grown in the past few years. Feeling that need to stand up for myself is a new feeling for me, and, even though the situation was definitely not anything I wanted to go through and I wish it had never happened, I am glad to realize that I have come a long way. 

I still have far to go, but little by little I am discovering that my voice is worth being heard.

********
And here is a little cutie who makes sure her voice is always heard! :)