wife to Jake, mommy to my 3 crazy munchkins, Lily (7), Jonah (5.5) and Kate (4). Taking this crazy blessed life one day at a time.

12.09.2013

More than enough.

Being a parent is hard. Harder than I had ever imagined. 

I feel like being a parent now is especially hard. 

The bar is set high. So high that it is impossible to keep up. 

So many times I only focus on the things that I am not  doing.

I feel like I would be a much better parent if I were doing all the things I am not doing. 

I feel like what I am doing isn't enough. Isn't good enough. Like I am somehow depriving my children of something because I am not "doing it all". 

Facebook, pinterest, the blog world, they all make it look so easy. And they make it look like that's how everyone else lives. Each and every day. 

It's hard to keep up. Impossible to pull it off. 

I am trying to focus more on what I am doing with and for my kids. 

For starters, we have the basics covered- food, water, clothes, shelter and love. That in itself is more than many families can say.

I hate how easy it is to get caught up in thinking that you don't have enough, that you aren't doing enough, that you aren't enough. I am constantly need to remind myself of how much we actually do have and how much we are doing. I am so grateful. We have what we need, and even some of what we want. And that is more than many in this world can say. 

Sometimes, I look around my little house and it's easy to get caught up in what we don't have or what we are not able to do. We don't have a big tv, or travel like we wish we could, or have the space we sometimes feel like we need when it seems like this house gets smaller by the minute. 

But, the other night, I was looking around my little house and I was overwhelmed with joy. I felt such peace and love in our home. Our Christmas tree, filling the room with little white lights and a smell that makes me stop what I am doing and take a deep breath.And then another one. The fire burning in our wood stove bringing such warmth. The quiet of warm, happy, sleeping children. My husband, sitting next to me, making all things right, no matter how rotten the day was.

And I remember that we are okay. We are blessed. We doing the best we can and that is more than enough. 

No, my house does not look anything like those adorable houses on pinterest. 
But it does keep us safe and warm and we each have a little space to call our own. 

No, our rooms are not usually clean and organized. 
But we have books to read and clothes to wear and toys to play with. 

No, our meals are not planned weeks or months at a time and the kitchen is usually a cluttered mess. 
But, we have healthy food to nourish our bodies and we always eat together.

No, we don't have a large house to entertain.
But, our home is still filled with the laughter and love of amazing friends at least once a week.

No, we do not have a lot of money. 
But we are wise with what we have.

No, we are not always calm and we don't always show each other the love and respect we should.
But, we always say "I'm sorry" and end each day making sure each one of us is feeling loved. 

No, we are not always as happy as we look in our pictures.
But, that is life- good moments and bad moments. And that's okay. 

We are happy. We are healthy. We have a home filled with love for each other and for God. And we know that we have everything we need. And that is more than enough.


Decorating the tree together



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