wife to Jake, mommy to my 3 crazy munchkins, Lily (7), Jonah (5.5) and Kate (4). Taking this crazy blessed life one day at a time.


Some Answers

Well, again this has been one crazy week.

Last Monday, Kate started one of her weird vomiting phases, that she has had a few times before. Basically, she wakes up, throws up (before eating anything), has a bad headache and a few other symptoms, and then is fine for the rest of the day. This goes on for 4 mornings in a row.

For some reason, the other times this happened, I thought it was strange, but just kind of thought it was a weird virus or something. Well, when it happened this time, I mentioned it to a few people, and they really suggested getting her seen by a doctor. So, I took her in on Wednesday. They were pretty concerned and said that we should really see a neurologist at Children's Hospital in Boston.

So, I tried to make an appointment, but they wouldn't be able to see Kate for a few months. I called our primary care doctor back, just to check with them to see if it was okay for Kate to wait that long. They said that she needs to get in, so they were going to call urgent care and get her an appointment. Later that day I got a call from Children's saying that they could see Kate on Monday. Whoa! That was fast!

Well, basically from Wednesday to Monday, my mind had a lot of time to run wild with things that could be wrong with Kate. I was pretty nervous about what they would say, or find, at Children's. I kept thinking that it was going to be a tumor. The thought of Kate having a tumor made me so sick to my stomach. Even the thought of her lying on the MRI table made me so sad.

Well, today was the day. We had our appointment at 2 in Boston. Kate was awesome during the appointment! She happily did everything the doctor asked her to do and was such a happy little girl :)

They told us that it seems like she has Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. It seems to fit her symptoms pretty well. They do want to give her a metabolic blood test when she goes in for her 2 year well child visit, when she has to get her bloodwork done anyway.

If any of her symptoms get worse however, it could be something more serious. So, for now, we just watch her and see how she does. We did get a perscription for her, to hopefully help with the vomiting. Kate has a follow up appointment at Children's in March.

So, for now we have some answers, nothing concrete, but something. Thank you to all that were praying for Kate! Keep praying that none of her symptoms get worse and that her blood test comes back negative.

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Writing about change...again....

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. Feeling behind. Feeling like things are never quite lined up just how they should be, so that everything is just a little bit off. Feeling like a good mom, but not a great mom. Feeling lazy. Feeling annoyed at how hard it is for me to change, and how hard it is to break habits and ways of life that you have been doing forever.

I know I have written about change before (did I mention how hard it is for me to change and how easy it is to quickly get back into old routines, even if you don't want to?), but here I am writing about it again. I always seem to get really excited about something, then go at strong for a while, then slowly, it fades away. Then a while later, I remember, "oh yeah, I was working on that. Why did I stop?" I have lots of great intentions and ideas, but for some reason can never quite follow through with them. Why is that? Why is it always to easy to give advice, but then really hard to follow that same advice? Why is it easy to see other people's problems, and see a clear solution, but so hard to do the same in your own life?

I see my flaws, my problems, sometimes pretty clearly, other times, not so clearly. I can see the result that I want, but I just don't always know how to get myself there. And now, the pressure is on. I have kids now. 3 little people that look up to me and watch my every move. And honestly, I do not always set a very good example. And I can see the results of that in Lily's behavior. The kids are still young enough, that if I can really stick to this, things can turn around without much harm done. If they were much older, then it would be another story.

So, the time is now. Jake and I are working together to brainstorm ideas of realistic ways we can improve as parents and to really enjoy our kids, before it's too late. They are growing up WAY too fast, and if we blink again, it will be over.

Please pray for us, as we make these changes, that we will be patient, and most of all that these will be permanent changes, and that I won't be repeating this post in a few months because we lost track of it. 

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Crazy? It's not such a bad thing.

Life has been a bit crazy lately.

Schedules, work, academy, kids (especially a certain 5 year old...), everything has been crazy.

When people walk into my house, there are usually toys spread all throughout the house. There are crumbs on the floor, since it seems that sweeping 3+ times per day just doesn't cut it. There are dirty dishes in the sink and kids running around like little crazy people, who are usually missing at least one article of clothing. For some reason, my kids seem to go especially insane when we have friends/guests over. They just can't seem to contain their excitement one second, and therefore unleash these intense feelings on our poor innocent friends. And many times, I feel that people see this "crazy" as a bad thing.

The kids do have an amazing amount of energy and I am always struggling to keep up with them. They are not the type of kids that always have clean clothes or nicely brushed hair. Lily's hair has a mind of it's own. 2 minutes after I brush it and do something nice with it, like braids or a cute ponytail, it looks awful. They are not the type of kids to play quietly. They are loud. All the time. They constantly have dirt smeared across their faces and many multi-colored spots and stains on their clothes.

Up until a few days ago, I tried to fight this never ending battle. I was trying to make them be a certain type of kid. I guess the type of kid I pictured in my head. I see kids in the library or doctors office that sit nicely and quietly, reading a book or talking quietly and wishing that my kids were like that. I see kids that are perfectly dressed and keep their adorable clothes clean and their hair looking perfect. I wanted my kids to be like that- clean clothes, nice hair, a good sense of style (something I lack...).

For some reason, it has taken me 5 years to figure out that my kids just aren't like that. I don't need to try to change them. I guess I thought that it was something I should teach them, like their ABC's or 123's. But that isn't something I can teach them. It's who they are. They are loud, crazy, dirty kids. But you know what? They sure know how to have fun. They have amazing imaginations and are very artistic and Lily is extremely athletic. They know how to play really well together (but of course, like all siblings, sometimes fight like there is no tomorrow). They are great at sharing. And best of all, they are best friends. One of my favorite things is to see them playing together.
So, I have been trying not jump on them for getting dirty, or being loud (to a certain degree...) or running around the house in their underwear, or any of the other crazy things they do. I want to embrace them for who they are, not try to change them. They are the kids God created them to be, and I want to let them be kids. Let them explore, create, imagine and dream. They honestly are amazing kids, and I could not love them more than I already do.
Even if they are a bit crazy :)

Note: This does not mean that the rules go out the window! Rules still apply, I guess it's just me relaxing on the little things that, when I really think about, don't matter much to me, but matter so much to them :)

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